Well, you all thought it was over, that nothing more was to be said about shopping, but you were wrong.
Elowyn of course has ducked out of the whole shopping experience for the most part. It's like the plague to her. She has a ready excuse every time, and now that school has started, doing homework is her mantra... except that as soon as the door clicks shut, she turns on 'Gossip Girl' from Netflix. How do I know? Because I watch it with her, and I missed a whole romance. She assures me it was nothing, but what the hey!
Anyway, Steven drove home from work and called to meet him on the road outside our apartment since there's usually no parking available right in front. I came down carrying two boxes of empty plastic bottles because you get money back for them since you pay a hefty deposit, up to €.25 for one which is included in the price. Interestingly enough, you get zilch for returning beer or wine bottles, although there must be a money back place since I always see a few people at every festival or event here going around collecting beer and wine bottles. I don't think they'd do it without a return on their time and energy...although a lot of Germans are recycling ninjas, and probably think they can save the planet and clean up the giant plastic garbage swirl in the Pacific ocean, so maybe? Ah well, that's a secret I haven't discovered yet, but will have to soon, because our collection of said items has been growing lately, and is starting to take over the spare room, especially with the recent hot weather over here.
Our go to store for more interesting food and house items is Real, pronounced, Ray- el. Steven refers to it as Riel, our famous Canadian freedom fighter. We scored prime parking and pay €2 this time for a cart. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, Steven has been experimenting using different coins of whatever he has in his pocket; €1 €2 and even €.50, but that was a bit tricky to get back out. I wonder if anyone else has done this? The sign did say to insert only €1. Steven is a bit of a maverick concerning shopping cart protocol. Reading instructions is not his forte. He definitely does not do things 'the German way'.
First stop was the plastic bottle return. It's all automated. Now, after 7 weeks here, it's old hat to me, (I endured Elowyn's endless laughter as I tried to figure out how to use the machine the first time, because you know, it's all about automation here! Anyway, today was Steven's first time and I decided to give him a bit of a show flushed with confidence.
I introduced the machine to him and showed him how to insert the bottle in the round opening. He watched intently as the machine spun the bottle around to read the bar code and up came the number, €.20 for a return. The bottle disappeared somewhere in the bowels of the wall. Wow! he said. I felt smug that I was the plastic bottle return expert of the family. Again, and again, a bottle was inserted and the amount of euros started to climb. Felt a little thrilling like playing Blackjack...just a little. Then came the last bottle. A spin, then an abrupt halt, a noise, and the bottle was unceremoniously spit out, rejected. Now what? Did we break the machine? I inspected the offensive bottle and identified it as coming from Aldi, a discount competitor store and not a Real Brand. How snobby. But at least we didn't break anything, because trust me...we have done so since we got here. #readthedarninstructions! Whew! We pushed the button and got a receipt for just under €3 to use for our next purchase at Real.
As for the other bottle, Steven looked around for somewhere to put it. There were two huge metal recycling boxes behind us. One said Papier for paper, the other said Kunst...something or other. I know kunst means 'art', so that's where the maverick put it. Don't ask.
So, we only came to Real to buy milk and get E some more school supplies, like specific folders with numbers on it. We saw a bunch of parents milling about in one area with paper lists clutched in their hands trying to buy the right folders and loose leaf paper for junior. Again, we were fascinated by the differences. Look, only 2 holes in their binders. Wow, look at this cool folder. We took photos and texted E for approval. She said to get it all. Really, all of it? And how's math coming along, hmmmm?
Moving on to the Oktoberfest display. Yes, I know, it's still August, but it's never too early to get your lederhosen on. Authentic leather, like my dad used to wear while fixing the car and doing chores around the house because they didn't rip easily and took spills well, and because my mum wouldn't allow him to be caught dead in them in public. I used to think they were his work uniform, until I learned otherwise; I mean, where else are you going to wear lederhosen?
I held a pair up for Steven with encouragement. He didn't take the bait, and said no way! I think he still had visions of Chevy Chase in European Vacation. Pity. Oktoberfest is huge here; an excuse to party, eat wurst and warm pretzels, play oompapa band music, and drink lots of beer and wine while dressing like a Bavarian in traditional trachen costumes from the south. Everyone and their mother is Bavarian for Oktoberfest, much like everyone is Irish on St. Patty's Day in North America. Popular colours are blue and white for the Bavarian state flag. Triangle flag banners are the rage to decorate outside your apartment, the more festive, the better. Females wear a dirndl which is a short white blouse, a very tight corset with a low cut bodice, and a full skirt and apron. Hair is usually beribboned with a full band of flowers; oh, and Edelweis necklaces are the trend. Feeling Bavarian, yet?
We moved along to the food section to find Butter. There are lots of butters, so out came the phone again to find out what was unsalted butter. But, then an elderly German man came by and I asked him in German for unsalted butter. 'Enschuldigung, wer ist der butter ohne salz? He looked at me in puzzlement. What I thought I said was, 'Excuse me, which butter is unsalted, but what I really said was, 'Excuse me, who is the butter without salt?' Maybe he thought it was a trick question, but I think that's pretty similar, don't you; I mean, you get the gist of it, don't you? Well, he didn't, so I grabbed any butter and asked bluntly, 'Salz, oder kein salz?' Which means, 'salt, or no salt?' Eureka! He understood, but then because I asked in German, he thought I was fluent and rambled on about butter for the next 5 min. I didn't understand a word of it except the occasional 'butter' word, but nodded and smiled and uttered the occasional 'genau' which means 'exactly' or ja which means yes. It's always best to agree with someone when you don't know what they're saying...I think. Anyway, after the man moved on, Steven asked, so what was that all about? "I have no clue, but let's get this Alpen butter, at least we know where it's from and what the cows ate." So that's how we ended up with the most expensive butter in the store.
We're also still on the hunt for a napkin holder; they do have napkins here, but no where to put them, at least we can't find them. They look at me strangely when I ask for a serviettenhalter. Maybe I'm pronouncing it wrong? Suri is no help as she keeps thinking I'm looking for a Serbian colder. Cheeky! We ended up buying a small woven container and putting a stone on top to keep them from flying away on breezy days.
We always end up with more than what was on the list. But, we were ready this time when we went to pay. At the cash, I was whipping things back in the cart as fast as the cashier pinged them. Steven was wholly impressed. At that very moment, I felt like a native. Oh darn, in the adrenaline high of keeping up with the cashier, we forgot to submit our bottle return receipt. Maybe that's the plan, keep the customers hopping at the cash trying to keep their groceries from falling off the edge and they'll forget all about getting their money back! Hmmmm.
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