Deutsche Bank

Deutsche Bank is our bank, why? This is a question I have asked myself over and over since coming here.

Since it has been in the news lately that they are losing money and not doing well of all the German banks; I am here to tell you why.

They totally suck at customer service - Oh, they're not rude or anything; they'll take your money and information with a big smile and promises, but I can tell you that they are very confused...incompetent...and very exasperating!

Forrest Gump said, 'Stupid is as stupid does.' Well, they're stupid because they lose things, important documents, don't do the things they said they would do etc. And here's proof.
First of all, don't ever confuse them by registering at one bank, then moving and registering at another bank because they won't remember that you did this even though you had to fill out a 10 page document, hand over your passport to be photocopied to prove it's you, and write your signature on said documents at least ten times. Because, inevitably, you'll get a very urgent email saying you must come immediately to your old branch because they are missing your signature.

Now, of course they don't tell you what signature is missing; that's on a need to know basis, and besides, you didn't ask. What I've discovered is that the Germans have been indoctrinated with a military like secrecy. They probably learned it in kindergarten. Never volunteer information; the teacher must ask the right question.

So, back to the bank. It took another email to ask why they need yet another signature. And an email back saying because my address is wrong in their system. Well, it might have helped if they actually had input it on a computer in front of me instead of referring to the ten page document with multiple signatures everywhere, that they probably efficiently filed away somewhere and forgot what they filed it under. And instead of revealing their own incompetence, they just make the customer do the same thing all over again.

Then begain the email train. Of course an email about time because here, you have to make an appontment for everything...and I mean EVERYthing! I said I'd come tomorrow when the bank opened at 10am, but then another email back saying 12 would be better. Of course, just to make sure, I asked for the address. Yet another email back giving the old Dusseldorf bank that I had transferred from. So...an email from me saying BTW, we left your bank because we moved to Ratingen...remember? I will not be going to Dusseldorf, just courier any documents to the Ratingen bank, and I even included the address and bank manager of said bank just in case she sent it to the wrong bank.

Another email back saying she would send the documents to another person and that I should contact her. Sigh...so off I went, saw the new person and signed my signature 10 more times only to see that they had spelled my street name wrong and put Hauptstrasse instead of Hochstrasse. That's where I surmise my missing credit card and pin numbers have gone to. I really should check if I have any money left in the account. Probably where my online banking pin and health card ended up too. There's most likely a really pissed off German Frau getting this info and having the onerous task of sending it back, OR eegads, having to recycle the unwanted paper and bring it down 6 flights of stairs because elevators here are very rare in Europe.

I thought in my ignorance that everything was settled, but no, there were two change of address forms to resubmit and they would need my passport...AGAIN! Even though they had a photocopy of it at the last branch. I guess the banks don't speak to each other, or maybe because they saddle us with the youngest and most inexperienced employees because they're fresh out of school and still retain their English.

Well, I didn't have my passport on me because, silly me didn't think to ASK if I needed to bring it, and again, the Germans don't readily volunteer any info. My fault that I didn't ask the right question!

I told her I'd go back home and get it and she said to hurry because they close at 4:30 and it was now 20 to 4. On the way out, I looked up and the previously blue sky was dark with clouds and spitting rain. Great! No umbrella! Now, I never do this, but I did walk quickly and text Steven asking where he was (At work), and where is my passport? (He had it). Well, so much for returning to the bank that day.
Suddenly interrupted by a call from Elowyn. She had not wanted to come with me, so I left her home to answer the door for packages we were expecting from Amazon. This is how the conversation went:

E - "Where ARE you!?!"

K - "On my way home."

E - "Well, the package people came, you know."

K- "Good, did you answer the bell and let them in?"

E - "Yes, but then it got confusing."

K- "Why?"

E - "They wanted me to sign for the package."

K- "And? Did you?"

E- "Well, I saw your name on the package, so I had to pretend I was you, so I printed your name, but then they wanted my signature, or your signature and since I wasn't sure how to 
forge your signature, I wrote my signature. AND the guy didn't speak a lick of English."

K - "We ARE in Germany you know, they don't have to. Did you get the package though?"

E- "Yes!' (then she hung up)

Teens and banks! Grrrrrrrr!